George Bush | Petro-Man

Petro-Man is a super tyrant bent on global domination through enforced dependence on the fossil fuels that his family produces. He belongs to a clan whose first-borns is trained from birth to rule and, upon reaching the proper age, bestowed the power to bring war to any country on earth.

After a rite of passage, the current first born takes on the title of “Petro-Man” and leadership of his family’s empire.

Petro-Man inherited his name, position, and power from his father before him who inherited it from his father before him and so on and so forth. The current Petro-Man is the most powerful bearer of the title to date. He has succeeded in keeping his profits up and consequently made himself and his buddies from the Legion of Doom rich beyond imaginings by ignoring the impacts and long-term effects of the greenhouse gasses that his fossil fuel produces on the earth’s environment.

Powers and Abilities
Petro-Man’s powers are supernatural in origin. The gods of the underworld bestows upon the first born sons of his family, on a certain age following a certain ceremony, the ability to wage war meaning he can convince a large number of people to start invading countries for the most ridiculous threats, invented or otherwise.

Aside from this he also has the natural ability to suck anything dry whether it’s natural resources or financial resources.

A well-placed intelligent question is usually enough to befuddle Petro-Man leaving him stunned and confused.

Quotable Quote

"And there is distrust in Washington. I am surprised, frankly, at the amount of distrust that exists in this town. And I'm sorry it's the case, and I'll work hard to try to elevate it."-George W. Bush, interview on National Public Radio, Jan. 29, 2007